Dear Diary,

Could a mother’s love be measured?
Like the oceans they both spend their lives in
A mother’s love is endless
Like the land I’m always left alone on
A mother’s love is immovable

My shoes are too heavy for my feet
The cross I carry comes with a coupon for a free back ache
My zeal hurts
My hope to see them again someday
Crushed every time I look at the shoreline and realise,
They both are on the opposite side of the world
I could only but feel his heartbeat every time he came in for a hug
I could only but reminisce on his caresses on cold nights

The picture of both my champion sailors gobbling down home-cooked meals
They imprinted the fabric of my mind
Like a bad dream
I wake up with my arms stretched out for a cuddle
Hallucinating his presence with me
Like a ghost story
I hear his voice calling me to the kitchen when every meal is ready
It was beautiful torment

I didn’t want to let go of the ghosts
I couldn’t dare pray against the hallucinations
They ironically kept me sane
They built for me a fortress of solace
One where I could be with the both of them
Without ever having to feel estranged

This was the cross I bore on my ageing back
The weight of immeasurable love
This was the sand my feet sank in
The love that is endless
This was the shoes I wore on my feet
The love that is immovable

Whenever I feel their presence at the shores
I know they are home
No matter the distance
No matter the time
No matter the circumstance
The dining will always be set with savoury meals
Just to try to keep them longer
My arms will always be outstretched and heated up
To give them both a welcoming land-treat
With a tonne of land-love
To warm up their ice cold demeanours

Whenever they come around
I would open up my diary of ghost stories
And record every single moment
So they can haunt me again once they are gone
So they can keep me company till whenever the return

Dear Diary,

It’s never been easy
It never will be
But I will always be ready to treat them whenever they come home again

This is my motherly cause!

Read: A Home on the Sea

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